The Event


We're setting the start of the ceremony for four pm. Though we probably won't be totally on time, we would like you to be there and seated by that time. Aim to arrive a little early, as parking will be complicated.

If you're not volunteering to help with the wedding, try to arrive at or after 3. When you get to the site, please don't interrupt the family or couple while we're taking pictures. Instead, try to find a seat and mingle with other guests.


We're saying our vows in the Graham's yard, where Jason grew up. We will emerge from the house and walk down the aisle together to reflect our already strong commitment to each other. The non-religious ceremony will be concise, with a minimum of pomp. There will be a few brief readings before vows, officiated by a Unitarian minister.

Guests will be seated under a large canopy, with the couple saying our vows at the crest of a small hill. There will be no seating charts.


The wedding party consists of Isaac and Reuben James and Evan Graham. We're becoming a part of each other's families with our vows, and we want our brothers to be there while we make that commitment.

Why no bridesmaids/groomsmen? We would have loved to invite our close friends to stand up with us, but we have so many wonderful friends and family that we didn't want to leave anyone out. So we are limiting our party to family only. We're inviting close friends to read during the ceremony or give a toast during the reception.

But though there won't be bridesmaids, there will be adorable flower girls! Rachel's cousins Natalie, Adele, and Emma will be spreading flowers just before the ceremony.


The reception will begin immediately after the ceremony. Barry and Linda Graham and Bill James and Susan McCarthy will be hosting the reception in the same location, the Graham's lovely home in Salem, VA. The laid-back and non-stuffy celebration of our union will last until it ends. As with the ceremony, there will be no seating chart. There will be toasts, probably right before/after we cut the cake.

There will be dancing, and music, possibly live music!


Foodwise, we're having a cookout! Not fancy, but simple and hopefully satisfying. For carnivores, there will be burgers and hot dogs and chili. For vegetarians, we'll have boca burgers, grilled cheese and tomato soup. There will also be baked beans, tuna and macaroni salads, coleslaw, garlic bread, and probably some other stuff too.

For drinks, we will have a decent selection of high-quality beer (mostly India and American Pale Ales, the couple's favorites) and wine avaliable on request. We will also provide a whole bunch of cheap beer and wine. Liquor will not be served.

The cake? It's going to be awesome. We've ordered a strawberry and dark chocolate cake with cream cheese icing - and wait 'til you see the shape!


Jeanna Duerscherl of the Roanoke Times will be shooting our wedding. Formal photographs will be mostly before the ceremony so you don't have to wait through it. We're hiring her because we want a photojournalist's eye to capture our event rather than directing every special moment. You can check out her photography for the newspaper here.

We strongly encourage people to bring their own cameras to take party pictures. However, we insist at our photographer's request that you refrain from picture-taking during the formal portraits, and we ask that you keep pictures to a minimum and do not stand or use flash during the ceremony. More on that here!


Cross your fingers for good weather, but we're prepared for rain. It's October in Virginia, which can mean pretty much anything, so we recommend a cardigan or a jacket or some other cover-up - something you can keep on or take off.


This is a small, private home, and we don't have the budget to hire people to help out on the day of. We are hoping that our guests will donate a couple hours to assist us with the organization, execution, and cleanup on our big day. This can mean anything, from tidying up to grilling burgers to making announcements to directing parking. It would not need to be during the wedding - there are a lot of little things that need doing, guests that need seating, parking that needs direction, before the ceremony and reception.

Your help on the day of would be very deeply appreciated and is an excellent way to show your support in lieu of a gift.

If you're interested in helping, make sure to pay careful attention to that section of the RSVP!